Nightmares, that's all these are, nightmares. I'm constantly afraid that someone will find out that I'm the masked avenger. I spend hours running, hiding, trying to outsmart those against me, then, I wake up, same as always, in my urine soaked bed, in Wayne manor, which is what I call my house, even though I know I'm not Bruce Wayne. It makes me feel strong, like this is my fortress against that maddening outside world. Having my own Wayne manor makes me feel like I have my own personal bat-cave here in my brain where I can hide whenever people try to taunt me, or call me bill, or the police come, or people try to find out if I'm batman. I often feel like I'm surrounded by enemies. Its bad enough the days I have to convince myself that I'm not really batman, never mind trying to convince people I'm not named bill, I mean that's not even close to Adam, I'd love to meet this bill guy and see if people try to call him Adam constantly. It gets to the point that the only people I can get to call me by my name are women of questionable morals, and that's a line I shouldn't cross, batman can't just be running around paying hookers to call him Adam West, I'd be inappropriate.
Speaking of people who mistake me for someone else I was recently at a town hall style political debate in town and someone mistaked me for one of the gentleman campaigning for president. It must have been the haircut I wear, very similar to the other gentleman, thankfully the issue was resolved quickly, much faster than many of my other mistaken identity situations. I was relieved by this and I got to relax and enjoy the debate.
I enjoyed blending in with the common folk of town and trying to gain a better understanding of the men who were vying for the drivers seat of our great country. My only problem was that they seemed to avoid the real problems this country deals with. There was endless talk of the economy and political downsizing. however I know what the real issue is. The real issue is a need to control things that were originally considered outside of the peoples hands. The moon for instance. The moon has a profound effect on humanity. Just look at the term for madness 'lunacy'. It comes from the idea that the moon can effect the human mind, cause insanity, push people to do things they don't even consider on a daily basis. The full moon is said to push many to extremes and cause particular unrest in the community. A great example of this is the joker. He said "ever dance with the devil in the pale moon light?" I remember this vividly when he murdered my parents. It stuck with me for years, pushed me to become the dark knight. The moon is the light in the darkness, the light is an enemy of the bat, it illuminates the bat, makes it visible, vulnerable. The devil, the devil dances in the pale moon light. To dance with him is to side with evil. The moonlight dancers are on the side of Lucifer. Those same moonlight dancers are the criminals of the night, those that make Gotham so unsafe that batman became a necessity.
The character batman, who I played in movies, would never forget the value of the moon. Which is why I was so surprised that the people of the meeting treated me so strangely when I asked a the candidates what they thought about the conquest of the moon. Surely they must realize that with my film background I had thought through the possibility of controlling the moon. Many intellectuals including Dr Alexander Abian have considered destroying the moon for personal or perceived communal goals. The real step is to CONTROL the moon.
Here I am listening to these men talk about all of our problems; over population, economic decline, health care. All of these problems could be solved my controlling the moon. The key is establishing a moon base. If we, the American people, were to push to establish a real presence on the moon we would dissolve many issues faced every day by the populace. The population issue would be simplified by sending many of our fellow countrymen to populate our base on the moon. The economy would be beefed up by the necessity of industry to build the many facets of the base. We would need to employ thousands to build the materials to construct the base as well as come up with the technology to sustain a comfortable life on the moon. There would be a lunar technology boom. And health care you might ask? Do you thing astronauts have bad healthcare? of course no astronauts have NASA health care, some of the best around. We would be proliferating the expansion of some of the best doctors around, space doctors! Our whole country could be taken care of by space doctors and if you've ever watched Star Trek you know that space doctors can fix almost any problem within half an hour. Yes my fellow Americans the road to victory is through space, through the moon, to space doctors. The lunar surface is the new wild west and we need to tame it's wilds and use it for the resource it really is. And no one should rest until we find a candidate that can assure us of space doctors for all within their term as president.
As I left the hall that night I glanced up at the moon, in my minds eye I saw a sprawling network of communities etched across it's surface. That was when the thought first occurred to me; who would defend the people of the moon with batman here on earth? I guess that's a story for another movie and another man.
