diary of bill 6

Nightmares, that's all these are, nightmares. I'm constantly afraid that someone will find out that I'm the masked avenger. I spend hours running, hiding, trying to outsmart those against me, then, I wake up, same as always, in my urine soaked bed, in Wayne manor, which is what I call my house, even though I know I'm not Bruce Wayne. It makes me feel strong, like this is my fortress against that maddening outside world. Having my own Wayne manor makes me feel like I have my own personal bat-cave here in my brain where I can hide whenever people try to taunt me, or call me bill, or the police come, or people try to find out if I'm batman. I often feel like I'm surrounded by enemies. Its bad enough the days I have to convince myself that I'm not really batman, never mind trying to convince people I'm not named bill, I mean that's not even close to Adam, I'd love to meet this bill guy and see if people try to call him Adam constantly. It gets to the point that the only people I can get to call me by my name are women of questionable morals, and that's a line I shouldn't cross, batman can't just be running around paying hookers to call him Adam West, I'd be inappropriate.
Speaking of people who mistake me for someone else I was recently at a town hall style political debate in town and someone mistaked me for one of the gentleman campaigning for president. It must have been the haircut I wear, very similar to the other gentleman, thankfully the issue was resolved quickly, much faster than many of my other mistaken identity situations. I was relieved by this and I got to relax and enjoy the debate.
I enjoyed blending in with the common folk of town and trying to gain a better understanding of the men who were vying for the drivers seat of our great country. My only problem was that they seemed to avoid the real problems this country deals with. There was endless talk of the economy and political downsizing. however I know what the real issue is. The real issue is a need to control things that were originally considered outside of the peoples hands. The moon for instance. The moon has a profound effect on humanity. Just look at the term for madness 'lunacy'. It comes from the idea that the moon can effect the human mind, cause insanity, push people to do things they don't even consider on a daily basis. The full moon is said to push many to extremes and cause particular unrest in the community. A great example of this is the joker. He said "ever dance with the devil in the pale moon light?" I remember this vividly when he murdered my parents. It stuck with me for years, pushed me to become the dark knight. The moon is the light in the darkness, the light is an enemy of the bat, it illuminates the bat, makes it visible, vulnerable. The devil, the devil dances in the pale moon light. To dance with him is to side with evil. The moonlight dancers are on the side of Lucifer. Those same moonlight dancers are the criminals of the night, those that make Gotham so unsafe that batman became a necessity.
The character batman, who I played in movies, would never forget the value of the moon. Which is why I was so surprised that the people of the meeting treated me so strangely when I asked a the candidates what they thought about the conquest of the moon. Surely they must realize that with my film background I had thought through the possibility of controlling the moon. Many intellectuals including Dr Alexander Abian have considered destroying the moon for personal or perceived communal goals. The real step is to CONTROL the moon.
Here I am listening to these men talk about all of our problems; over population, economic decline, health care. All of these problems could be solved my controlling the moon. The key is establishing a moon base. If we, the American people, were to push to establish a real presence on the moon we would dissolve many issues faced every day by the populace. The population issue would be simplified by sending many of our fellow countrymen to populate our base on the moon. The economy would be beefed up by the necessity of industry to build the many facets of the base. We would need to employ thousands to build the materials to construct the base as well as come up with the technology to sustain a comfortable life on the moon. There would be a lunar technology boom. And health care you might ask? Do you thing astronauts have bad healthcare? of course no astronauts have NASA health care, some of the best around. We would be proliferating the expansion of some of the best doctors around, space doctors! Our whole country could be taken care of by space doctors and if you've ever watched Star Trek you know that space doctors can fix almost any problem within half an hour. Yes my fellow Americans the road to victory is through space, through the moon, to space doctors. The lunar surface is the new wild west and we need to tame it's wilds and use it for the resource it really is. And no one should rest until we find a candidate that can assure us of space doctors for all within their term as president.
As I left the hall that night I glanced up at the moon, in my minds eye I saw a sprawling network of communities etched across it's surface. That was when the thought first occurred to me; who would defend the people of the moon with batman here on earth? I guess that's a story for another movie and another man.

diary of bill 5

I went to see my fiancee today. Well she's not really my fiancee but I know I'm going to marry her someday. She's more like a serious girlfriend, except we're not REALLY dating. We see eachother once in awhile and it's usually pretty nice, even gets a little steamy now and then...Okay! Okay! Fine; I just go grocery shopping and hit on the bag girl while i ogle her breasts. Sure she's not the sharpest whip in the schoolmaster's closet but she really GETS me. Well at least she doesn't act like I'm some weirdo, she even calls me "Mr. Weast" How polite!
I shouldn't get like that though. Children look up to me, especially as Batman. I wouldn't want a youngster to think of Batman daydreaming about caressing those soft, creamy, supple, possibly of-age, teen breasts...
My God! I must go take a cold Bat-Shower.

diary of bill 4

I often wonder what bats dream about. Do they dream at all? Do they have nightmares?
My nightmare is the bat, my Nemesis, also my role model. Becoming ones remodel doesn't make them perfect though. Sometimes I feel like the Joker or some such villain because I'm always fighting to keep Batman at bay. But he is not trying to foil my plans, he is trying to take over my mind, to leave the screen and comic page and enter our world through me, Adam West, his faithful portrayer of many years. why? ...

diary of bill 3

That tricky shrink was playing games with my mind again.
I originally started going because I thought he could help me with my bat problem, but I'm beginning to believe that he has some sort of alternate plan.
That manipulative architect of psyches spent almost the entire meeting today trying to convince me that I wasn't Adam West! I hired this expert of intellects to convince me that I'm not batman, who is a fictional comic character for children, not to try to trick me into thinking that I'm some sort of lunatic who has no idea who he actually is.
The shrink tried to explain away my wealth to a family fortune left to care for a single son left traumatized by his parents tragic and untimely death. I easily saw through his ploy however because the story he chose was taken from the back story of the very enigmatic superhero I wish to escape.
He did come up with at least a thought on the problem at hand however. He thinks I've created alter egos to hide from my shortcomings. He told me that because Adam West wasn't perfect enough I started to conjure up the batman out of the depths of my mind.
I told him that I believed that the reason I began to think I was the Batman on occasion was because I spent too much time playing him on television, movies, comic conventions, and more recently at schools for drug awareness as well as at the occasional party. I also asked the psychiatrist to stop referring to me in the third person because it was creeping me out.
He thought we ought to meet more often and asked me to continue writing in this journal to try to straighten my thoughts out. I will honor his request for now but he is treading on thin ice.

Journal of Bill who is definately not a superhero 2

6/11/10 (cont.)

On my way out of the building, after waiting for the young lady in question to make her purchase, I grabbed a fire axe all too conveniently placed in a glass emergency box near the dark rear exit that opened into an alley. As I followed her, creeping up slowly so as not to draw attention to my plans, I heard a voice exclaim "STOP!" And i did, for I was startled, then, like being struck by lightning it hit me; I had yelled stop. You see I did this because I am not really Batman at all. I've just played him on T.V. so long that I sometimes let my mind wander and it goes straight to him.
Can you imagine if I had killed that poor girl just to protect my false secret identity? I can just read the headlines now: "Crazed Adam West Axes Young Intellectual Coed" No that wouldn't do at all. Besides Batman wouldn't kill a poor young woman like that, even for self preservation. I must vow to think more like the bat if I am to maintain the saftey of those around me.
But wait! That is exactly how I got here to begin with...

Journal of Bill who is definately not a superhero

6/11/10

I was browsing in a bookstore this afternoon when a small journal caught my attention. I picked it up and muse aloud "hmm this seems interesting."
A customer casually glances up at me.
"STOP TALKING TO YOURSELF YOU LUNATIC!" I snap back. Then, Oh NO! I realize silently she'd heard us both. I'm going to have to neutralize her to prevent the secret of my secret identity from slipping out...but how?

Fishbowl the Rue Morgue

Welcome to my madness everyone, keep your arms and genitals inside the ride, don't touch the plants, don't drink the water and for the love of god PLEASE don't feed paulie it only encourages him. Good luck and I hope you remembered your insurance card.